


On the house.

by punkchronicles



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Bartender AU, Bartender John, Cafe AU, Club AU, Club owners, Frotting, Happy, M/M, More characters as we go, Multi, Rimming, Sex, bar au, boys flirting, came from a roleplay, cute conversations, johndave - Freeform, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 00:30:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2561411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkchronicles/pseuds/punkchronicles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bartender John Egbert who runs a cafe with his sister Jane, cousin Jade and his other cousin Jake, meets Dave Strider, co-owner of a music/bar club which he owns with his big bro Dirk Strider, even though, the two of them's scene names are just Di-Stri and TurnTech.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stolen Limes and Stolen Lives

 John was wiping down the bar in front of him when someone sat on a stool, looking upset. John frowned and put down the rag, going over to the stranger.

"Rough day?" he asked. "What can I get you, sweetheart?"

He just muffled out a "Mhm" at his 'friendliness' before answering his question. "Straight vodka with a dash of juice."

"Got it. Damn, really rough, I'm guessing." He poured the drink and gave it to him, starting to clean some glasses other patrons left behind.

"I guess." He practically downed half the cup, not really caring if he spent more money than needed at some bar, his family was loaded beyond repair anyways.

John quirked an eyebrow, looking at him. "Get dumped or something? Laid off?"

"Cheated on. Ain't it great?" He says with fake enthusiasm before rolling his head to the side to hint at how it was fake, once again. 

He clicked his tongue and shook his head. "Damn, sorry man. Here." He made another drink and slid it towards him. "On the house."

"Speaking a' house, lost that too. Can I get one a' those _on the house_  too?" He smirked, for the first time since getting here. Actually  letting some emotion show was easier. 

He looked absolutely dumbstruck, obviously not getting it. "What do you mean, lost... did she take your house?"

"We lived together, apparently when she cheated on me she got hella mad at me too, for some reason she just decided she was keeping it. Filled with her shit anyways. Not an inch in that house do I feel home." He sipped at his new drink, actually liking its taste. "What is this?"

"Sorry, man..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Do you have a place to stay tonight?" At the comment, he smiled. "Rum and coke."

"All family live in different states or dont want to be near me anymore because of something I might or might've not done at a birthday party. Guess not. But I am rich due to those exact people though, so its not like I cant just buy a motel or somethin'."

"That seems like the lonely option, to me. Any friends you can stay with?". He tried another friendly smile, but it didn't have much effect. 

"Also in different states, and countries."

 

 He frowned. "Oh... sorry. Seems... lonely. All of it."

"That's life, y'take what you get and steal someone elses after that. Just haven't found that 'someone else' to take from yet."

"Pessimist," he snorted. "Hey, if it makes you feel better, neither have I. Just popping in and out of beds every now and then." He shrugged and started cutting up lemons and limes.

"Uh.. huh." Something must've clicked because he smirked again, reaching over and grabbing a lime, before -being the dare devil he is- biting into it, looking like a legit vampire at work before putting a drained half of a lime down.

"On the house, mister one night?" Was the only thing the 'vampire' replied with to his actions. 

John blinked a few times, stunned a little, then smirked. "Need some tequila and salt with that?" he countered, leaning against the counter.

"Only if it's on the house too." He raised his blonde eyebrows above his shades to show how they were waggling.

He chuckled. "I have a better idea. There's tequila, salt, and limes at my place. Bourbon, wine, whiskey... all the good stuff, just for your enjoyment. "

"All the good stuff involves you, right?" He did the same motion with his eyebrows, this time followed by a lip bite.

At that, John's breath caught in his throat, and he shifted a little. "Well, it's my apartment. So naturally, I'd be there too." He stepped away to serve a small, giggly bachelorette party, then came back to Dave. "I just realized I never got your name, stranger. I'm John."

"And I'm coming home with you tonight." He had  _had_ to. 

He chuckled, smiling and running one hand through his hair. "Can I get a name for that order?"

"Dave. Dave Strider. And I'll take that order shaken."

"Mm... I like it. Southern, too, that's... mm." He smirked. "I'll get on that. The next shift should be here in ten minutes."

"Sorry what was that? All I heard was 'mm'." He commented on the cute noise he had made when he reacted to 'southern'. 

He chuckled. "Ten minutes. Then I'm yours."

"Forever, my bartender prince."

That made him snort. "That, however, is debatable. Depends on your performance."

"Ouch, colder than the ice in those glasses." He nods over to the bubbly girls at the end of the table. "Why dontcha just pick one from the resently-legal tree?".

He followed Dave's gaze, and one corner of his mouth turned down. "Barely-legals are no fun. Too giggly. I prefer those who are a bit more... experienced." At the last word he had looked surprisingly hot for such a twink. 

"And hella cute? And hella gay? And fucking hot? And mega attractive?"

"All of the above. Now, how many of those apply to me, would you say?" he said, leaning against the bar and giving Dave a set of highly-practiced and perfected bedroom eyes.

"Number one two, three." 

"Not mega attractive? Who's ice cold now?" He rested his hand on his cheek, a playful, teasing smile curling his lips.

"I dunno. Prolly still you. At least I know you're hella gay now."

He made an "eh, oh well" face and shrugged. "Now I know you're bi. Dumped by a bimbo and picking up the bartender for the night."

"Wrong, brace-face. Bisexual _demi-_ sexual. But I guess I cant call myself that anymore, since I wanna fuck some random bartender I just met."

He shrugged again. "Not braces, a trick of the light. I get that a lot. And hey, I'm not in a place to judge, since I wanna fuck some random customer I just met."

"Very good counter, the judges are holding up there 10's signs and theres an asshole at the end with a 9.5 up and all."

He laughed again, and his eyes shone behind his glasses. "I guess you're that asshole, because fuck him."

"I bet you'd wish that." His smirk was sly as he sipped at his abandoned drink.

"I'm gonna get that, I don't have to wish." 

"Ooh, kitten got claws? Or maybe he just filed his nails."

"Mrow," he purred, then laughed again.

He shakes his head, smiling lightly at him, not even smirking. "You're very good boyfriend material for someone I'm suppose to have a one night stand with."

"Oh, considering the next step already?" he teased. A few minutes later, a tiny wisp of female breezed through the door in a mass of black curls held back with a bright green ribbon. John smiled and waved, hugging her when she stepped behind the bar and tied an apron around her waist. He kissed her forehead in a friendly way, she murmured something into his ear that made his cheeks turn red, and then he grabbed a jacket and went around beside Dave. "I'm ready, are you?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." He turns around, but not before generally making the new girl in the scene blush to her ears with a smirk and a remark no one but her seemed to catch. Then he stood up from his seat and followed up the boy. Cool. He was tallest.

John walked out the door and turned up his collar against the cold wind that had picked up. He led Dave over to a sleek, navy blue car and unlocked it.

"You're seriously taking me home? I could be a theif y'know." 

"I already know you are." 

"What?"

He turned around from his car door, reaching out for the others cold hand. Finally taking it, he replies, jolly as ever. 

"You've been  _stealing_ my heart for the past hour." 

"Well, actually the only thing I've stolen from you is a couple of limes." 

 

 


	2. Broken Dreams and Bestowed Deals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's in too deep while Dave is just deep in sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW ahead! you've been warned.

Warmth.   
  
Warmth spreading through your chest was the first thing you felt, followed by a numbing sensation of touch. Said touch was him, who was maybe an inch away from your face, smiling kindly at you with his brown eyes not piercing, but softly drumming into your gaze. His arms were around you, and he was on top of you. You didn't know if any of you were wearing anything below the waistline, but your chests were gently hovering centimeters away from each other, creating a tiny electricity of want to close that tiny space. Before you get to act on anything, he moves in close, kissing you slowly, like if he would kiss you too much he wouldn't be able to kiss you again, and more.  
  
He was savoring you, so he'll have enough to last throughout all eternity itself. He wanted to enjoy every day, hour, minute, second he could have with you ever. Suddenly, the warmth leaves you, but only for a tiny fraction of a second. Then the warmth spreads again, down from your rosy cheeks and plumped lips, this time on the crevice of your neck. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on everything you were feeling that exact moment. One of his hands are on your face, placed holding the side of your neck he wasn't marking as his own, his chest was on yours, and you could feel how it moved up and and out every time he took a new breath. The fake electricity you had felt had been satisfied, now sending sparks through you and his bodies instead. His other hand is inching down from your abdomen and-  
  
Sirens, red lights, blue lights, police cars all start ringing in your head, but your heart is bleeding, not on guard. The inner office in your heart has a neon green post it on it's door, saying it'll ' _be back in 15_ '. He stops, his hand ghosting over your boxers. Now you figure out none of you were wearing anything but boxers, you don't know why you didn't know that earlier. He moves up from your neck, and you already feel left, bereft of the sensation numbing your heart enough to make the previous post it note.  
  
When he looks at you again, it isn't for being kind.   
  
 _He's asking._ Your inner office brain is telling you, currently on full time work, nonstop.

You gently nod, and before you know it your office brain explodes into a million little star shaped pieces of cheap yellow and red paper. His hand his holding you, rubbing through your boxers, you're about to say he can go further, but the word already escaped your mouth before your brain office could react, having been just blown to pieces.   
  
"More."   
  
He doesn't try to be gentle this time, plumming your lips together again as he slides your boxers down, you're already half hard and normally it'd be embarrassing, but you somehow don't feel that way. You feel like you've known him for years, your entire life. You want to have. You wanted to grow up with this person, as odd as it sounds. Like, that was suppose to happen. But something else happened, and it didn't go as it was suppose to. You need to know what happened.   
  
He'd been kissing you for a while, and in the meantime he had taken all the clothes left on the both of you off. He was almost 'sitting' on your legs as you layed down. Then he did something that made both your heart office, brain office, and mouth office explode at the same time.   
  
He was grinding into you. Which you would've been totally fine with had you been wearing boxers, but you weren't. And you realize you really,  _really_ like how this feels. Apparently your mouth office had realized before you, because he seemed almost shocked at how much you grew harder within seconds, and how much your moans had increased in volume and quantity.   
  
You were both panting at this point, and you really didn't want to sound like a bad pornstar in her first video but.. "I-..if you plan on..  _anything_ else. I-ng, suggest.. now."  
  
You really hope he realized what you meant by that. And luckily he did.   
  
"You sure?"  
"Totally."   
  
He didn't reply to it like you had expect. You were hoping he'd tell you want he wanted to do as 'anything', as you had so stupidly stated it. You were in your own thoughts when you felt something wet, slick and on the base of your hardon, to the tip. Another moan. You should be used to that by now, but it suddenly sky highs from a low whimper to a full blown "accidentally didn't mute my sound while watching porn on headphones" moan as he licked down your prenium, daring to leave hot breaths down on your back end. Daring to stick his tongue into you for just a second, to let you get a taste and a tease.   
  
Then he did it. And after maybe ten seconds of circling into you and out, he stopped, replacing his tongue with his fingers, which felt less satisfying, but still good. Especially when you knew he was a giver now, and that he would probably touch your prostate. It seems like you can predict the future, because he does so, and your world spins madly on throughout your buzz of ecstatic emotion running through you to your temples to your toes.  
  
You two stayed like that for a little, just him widening you out, until you both decided silently that it had grown stale. Shit. Time to actually use your voice again.   
  
"Y-you can..-" You adverted your head to the side.  
"Really?" His eyes stayed on you, forcing you to look at him again. You nod, not feeling like saying it.   
  
The air was warm in the room around you, you dont know what room this is. To be candid, you dont care at all. Not one bit. He's here.   
  
Before you know it, he's started pressing into you, in retrospect, you should've reacted when you dimly heard him say "Ready?". You need to get out of your thoughts. Fortunately, you have something to help you.   
  
 _He's so big._ Your brain must've exploded atleast five times the size of the first time, because there's no way it could possibly fit, but then it does. You hadn't heard the lube get popped open either, damn thoughts. You have your face hidden in his neck, and your legs are spread out only for him to see. There's light drawing shapes on your white walls in from the window of the room you should know which was. He's whispering things into your ear but you don't hear them. All you're hearing is your brain chanting that he is so big and that you're gonna spread in half.   
  
When he's fully inside of you, he stops, and you feel so full. You know it probably isn't possible, but you feel like your stomach grew a tiny bit bigger, or at least a little bump. Your mind remains quiet, before leaving out a small  _He feels so good._ Which you already knew. You cant stop thinking it. He looks at you again, and you nod, already having known what he would ask.   
  
But what he does, you didn't expect. He pulls all the way out of you. Every warmth you had felt. Gone, shattered, stolen from you like an angel stripped off it's wings. Ripped off, you felt empty. Hollow. Like someone just stole a vital piece of your heart, and you should be dead. But you're not. And you're living, going through everything without it. You close your eyes.   
  
  
 _Gone._  
  
Is the only word that comes John to mind when he opens them. It's morning, but it's gone. He's gone. John doesn't even remember who 'he' is before he looks to his side and sees __  
Him.  
  
Blonde hair swept over his shades, which you, as a glasses-user know are gonna leave bad looking red marks on his face. You dont want that. You lean down, since he had been sleeping on a couple of thick mattresses your past roommates left over, and take off his shades for him. Freckles. Lightly dusted like when you gently shake the teaspoon filled with sugar over said tea. Like a couple of stars exploded and turned into dust, then landed on his body. John sees a trial of smaller groups of freckles leading down his neck, but doesn't get to see more since his shirt ends, cutting off all access to his chest. That reminds John of his dre-  
  
 _DREAM._  
  
He had been dreaming it. Dreaming the warmth, the trust, the electricity was all just.. imagination? John felt a dark pit form in his stomach, sucking in his heart to keep it there, nursing it with it's long dark fingers of hopelessness. 

John felt like he was gonna be sick, wanting to move. But when he did, he stopped in shock. Only now he realized how 'wet' his dream had been.  

 

Dave stumbled groggily onto the kitchen, a hand deep in his mess of a hair. "What's for dinnm.." He had wanted to continue, but was met with a bad fate of face plant. 

" _Breakfast_ is bacon and bacon, cause we dont have any eggs." You were obviously the morning person in this  ~~relationship~~ situation. 

"God I need to marry you someday, Egbutt." Wait, what? 

"I never told you my last name." 

"Your wallet did."  This guy's gonna be the death of you. He continues talking. 

"Yo Johnny, you got a roommate or what?" Oh. 

"I used to, he moved out though. Why?" 

"Cause I kinda wanna set up my camp in your bandsquad." 

"Wait, really?" That's kind of.. big?". Oh great. More dream-flashbacks. 

"Chiiiiill, Egbro. I'll stay for a couple of days, then you can dump me if you want. Deal?" 

"..Deal." You bump your fist into the one he was holding out for you. 

 

 


	3. Golden and Charcoal. Flour and Accents.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John likes mornings and Dave likes John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this one longer?? dunno.

  
So you'd think living with Dave for four days wouldn't let you get to know him. You think wrong. He's already kept you awake with his go-ons about his entire life and multiple 'beats', and normally you'd just have blocked it all out. That is until he started asking you things. Things that you've asked people you wanted to get to know and or be in a relationship with. He'd gone through the basics easily. 'What's your zodiac?'. 'Do you have a girlfriend?', followed up by 'Boyfriend?'. It was about five AM, none of you could sleep, you in your bed and Dave on his bundle of mattresses on top of each other.  
  
His hand was lazily holding up his cheek, and the moon was lighting up the room to your advantage of finally seeing his face as he was too lazy to register that his face was 'au natural' instead of dolled up sunglasses Ken. His eyes were round, peachy-pinkish blonde locksand brown "horse girl" freckles over his face, under the big ones were smaller ones, like galaxies where the planets were big dots and the stars were tinier ones. Every shade of his face was a sort of blue or purple, due to the moon being the only light source. His eyes were unusually brighter than the rest, almost appearing a bit pinkish, but you'd just have shrugged it off earlier. His mouth was curled in a permant tiny mischief-y smile.

  
"So what's your type?" He'd ask, obviously trying to irony himself through the conversation using stupid girls-sleepover questions. You ran a hand through your disheveled ravenette locks and groaned at yet another question to join the hundreds.   
  
"Asks the demisexual." You spoke lazily, using the last of your breath to before sucking in another, flipping the pillow to the cold side and smashing your head into it. "Dear sweet heavens. Dave, tomorrow we are putting our pillows in the freezer."  
  
He laughed,  _really_ laughed. It had only happened twice throughout four days. Sure he'd laugh a little or chuckle at things, but he never showed his  _real_ laughing sound. You moved your head up, looking at him, letting him feel your eyes on him as you try to remember where you've seen him from. You squint your eyes gently, and he remarks snarkily about how much of a kitten you look like, but all you hear is the last word. Kitten.   
  
"Golden cat."   
  
"Well that's a good subject changer, Charcoal cat."   
  
"Nononono, I used to live in this suburban neighborhood, and there would always be this really fat golden cat that would strife around with everyone else's animals. It totally reminds me of you, just wandering around in my life being all golden."   
  
"Holy shit, I never expected to remind someone of a fat fucking Garfield." He looks laughingly-surprised. "Well actually you kinda remind me of a cat too. Dirk would force Bro to let us keep a cat, and it got kittens, one of them were purely jetblack. Charcoal cat."

The two of you talked for hours on end, and throughout the entire conversation, you both called each other your respective cat/kitten names. 

 

You woke up to Dave groaning awake, obviously annoyed that mornings exist, you open your eyes delicately. You weren't a morning person, but compared to the other, you could definitely pass as one. You almost groaned, always having not liked mornings, but you suddenly remembered that living with Dave meant you got to- 

"G-gmorning, Jawn." 

_1) Hear his accent._

"This time I might just- DIS-APEAR." 

_2) Hear him sing when he thinks you aren't hearing it._

"OH COME-- ON. just change your goddamn- LIGHT." 

_3) Hear him yell at drivers while he drives you to college._

(You really like mornings with Dave.)

 

You support your elbow on the kitchen counter, blue covered phone close to your ear. You were talking to your long cousin, Jade, trying to tell her about your week. 

"Yeah, Jake moved out last week, but this guy named Dave moved in. Like five days ago. Yeah he's-" You were cut off as hands swooped in and took your phone, you yelped gently, pulling at the others clothes since there was an obvious height difference. Dave started continuing your sentence. 

"Yeah, ahem, he's amazingly hot'n'I gotta total mancrush on 'im and I totally take longer showers to piss him off." He had put it on speaker so you could hear Jade laughing and she could hear you whining. 

"Dave!" You called out for him again, and of course he ignored you and continued his(your) conversation with Jade, and you could hear Jake in the background, which meant they were probably at the cafe. 

You look around the cabinet, Dave not paying any mind as you fill a hand with flour. As soon as he turns around, you smuther and throw flour and diverse into his face. 

He's completely caught off guard, and you quickly snatch your phone and politely end the call. By the time you've done so, Dave had gotten a handful himself and clasked it into your face, which left you out of breath and dry-mouthed. 

You both gently brush flour off yourselves, and for the rest of the day, you dont dare tell Dave that there's flour on his nose. 

You both lay on the couch of hours. The couch was small, so you had to cuddle up. None of you minded as you crawled on top of Dave, stomach to stomach as you rested your head on his shoulder and chest area. 

You felt gentle hands delicately remove your glasses, and something warm get hunched over you as your mind drifted into sleep, you dont remember much other than.. 

"Dave." 

"John." 

"Hi."

"Goodnight, John." You had smiled when he kissed your forehead, and you were pretty sure he would've kissed you really had he  been able to reach. 

And you wouldn't have minded if he could.

You really like days with Dave. 

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came from a roleplay, but the John didn't give me any names to tag him/her with. Not even sure I want to continue, so please leave me a comment if you want more of this! Tips are gladly taken in, as I am a new writer!


End file.
